the big meeting

I attended the big adoption expo today. It's weird how something that still seemed relatively remote a few weeks ago all of a sudden seems like something I might try to do within the next six months. It's not like I haven't been thinking a lot about adoption and what that life would be like. It's just that I've envisioned starting the process next winter at the earliest, and maybe not until well after. I wasn't even completely sure it was the right decision. Now I'm pretty sure I'm going to sign up for PRIDE classes that start in the middle of April.

I had a pretty funny conversation with one of the recruiters. Most of the recruiters from the agencies there were surprisingly quiet. Not very recruit-y. Getting information was kind of like pulling teeth. "How long does it take to get a homestudy done?" "Ummm. . .Well, it just depends on the situation." Well, yeah, but can you elaborate? I showed up extra-early (misestimated traffic), so I was often the only person at each of the booths I went to. At any rate, this one recruiter was very nice, very outgoing, very informative, but it was clear that she was trying to figure me out and couldn't quite do it. She did a lot of talking around things ("Well, some agencies might not be as accepting of singles", "I happened to be talking to man who had a long term partner. . ." "Some agencies get their lawyers to do pro bono work, so you don't have to pay for even that.") There was nothing inherently weird about what she was saying--a lot of it was really good information. It was just that she would sort of raise her eyebrows at me a little with each one, as if to say "are you single?" "are you gay?" "what are your finances like?" I would have happily told her any of those things, but she was sort of talking a lot and I was doing my sympathetic, listening nod thing. Near the end of our conversation she asked me if I was in college, bless her little heart. I do look younger than 31, but not *that* young. I told her that I was a college professor and her whole face changed. It was kind of funny. I knew I should have gone in there with a sticker on my chest that said "I am 31 years old and I own my own home." I couldn't really use her agency anyways, because it is faith-based, but our conversation was actually really productive. I think I've found an agency I really like. I talked to them about my single, non-religious status and they seemed cool with that. I also like the fact that this agency was originally started by foster parents and has offices all over Texas. It has a grassroots quality that I like, and it seems like the offices all over could be a good thing. I also like the fact that they work exclusively with kids in the system, and it seems a little smaller than some of the monster agencies that also do international and private domestic. Overall, it just feels like a good fit. Plus (and I know this is a crappy reason to choose an agency), it's a little closer to me than some of the others and would not require getting on the interstate. I hate the interstate.

They had books of photolistings there, and I noticed that most of the kids I've been interested in the on-line photolistings were not in there. It occurred to me afterwards that I actually didn't see any kids whose birthdays were 1990 or before in those books, while there are quite a few on TARE. I'm trying to figure out if they just left them out of the books because there wasn't enough room for everyone and they figured no one would be interested in those kids, or if the kids really are placed (which would be awesome) or if those kids have decided to give up on getting adopted (which would be sad all the way around). I wrote to one of the recruiters to ask her. I wish I had thought to ask while I was there. At any rate, my beloved sibling group was gone as well. If that means they've been placed, then that's really great. It's so sad to read those books though--the books tell you when the profile was written, so you know how long the kid has been waiting. There is a terrific-seeming little boy who is in gifted and talented and plays sports who has been available for two years. Of course, it is possible that he has a history or behavior that it is particularly difficult to deal with or something. But I sort of suspect that it has to do with the fact that he's an African American boy over the age of 9. It's really sad. So many kids without homes.