Tag--I'm it!

Everyone who's anyone in the foster/adopt blogging community seems to be doing this whole interview meme thing. I've had a lot of fun reading other people's, so I thought I'd participate too. The thing is, I haven't been blogging all that long and I don't really want to impose on anyone to interview me (particularly not Yondalla, who seems to be the world's most popular interviewer, or Maggie, who has visions of Slugger dancing in her head--yay for Maggie!), so I thought I would interview myself. Actually, I'm going to steal some of the questions Yondalla wrote for Atlasien and make up a couple of my own. That way I can be like everyone else! Only weirder! Which is kind of what I'm like in real life! (plus, it might be really good practice for answering questions in my homestudy. . .)

1. Why teenagers?
When I think about what I want out of parenting, a few things come to mind. I want to have family meals. I want to talk to someone about how their day went (and, possibly, mine, though I don't believe most teens are particularly plugged into the feelings of others). I want to have a child I could have a conversation with. I'd like to go to school plays or (lord forbid) atheletic events. I want to help with homework. I want to provide guidance and advice. I want to help plan someone's future. I would like to read aloud. Most of those things I can do with a teenager. Probably not reading aloud (although my mom actually read to my sister when she was in high school--it was a pretty chilled out way for them to spend time together), but the other stuff.

I like the idea of parenting a child who won't be dependent on me for everything. Who could boil water and make spaghetti if they wanted to.

I feel a certain amount of shame in saying this (though I've been feeling a little less bad since I saw it on a CPS poster promoting teenage adoption), but I also like the fact that teenagers are not in the house forever. I could be an empty-nester by 35! I know that wouldn't appeal to a lot of people, but I like the idea of continuing to have a parenting relationship with someone who doesn't live with me anymore. In an ideal world, I like the idea of sending a kid off to college--buying all the cool dorm gear, sending care packages, hanging out during holiday breaks. I know I would be lucky to get a foster kid who is truly college bound, but I really love the idea of supporting a child through a transition like that.

I think I could do a lot of good as an adoptive parent to teenagers. It seems like it is so difficult to place them. In most of the discussion groups I read, people identify older children as being 10 and under. It doesn't seem like a lot of people are interested in the teens, particularly the older ones. I can totally understand why some people wouldn't be into it, but since I like the idea it seems like a shame to go for the youngers.

I also like the idea of adopting a 16+ year old kid because children have to figure out whether they want to be adopted or just age out of foster care at that age in my state. If a kid still wants to be adopted, that suggests to me that they've thought about their future and see a place for a permanent family in it. I like to think that would mean there's less chance of out-and-out rejection.

(now, two from Yondalla to Atlasien, stolen by mungos_mom!)

2. What do you predict will be the most challenging for you personally?

In terms of potential extreme behaviors, I worry a lot about someone hurting my animals. But in terms of day-to-day parenting, I think that the loss of autonomy is going to be the most difficult thing for me to deal with. I went through two roommates my freshman year of college, and I've lived alone ever since. My dogs are very laid back, and I've got a weird job schedule-wise, so I kind of come and go as I please and keep sort of odd hours. If someone calls and wants me to hang out at the coffeeshop and work until 11PM, I can do it. I can go dancing or to see local rock bands and stay out until 2AM if I want. If I put off dinner until 9PM and just have cold cereal, that's totally cool. Being constantly responsible for someone else is a little terrifying. This sort of plugs back into my whole wanting to adopt a teenager thing--while I know that they require a lot of time and a lot of energy and a lot of work, I find it conceivable that I could run to the grocery store sans kid if the kid were 16 and wanted to stay home. I've thought about all this a lot, and I think that the trade-off will be very worth it, but it's still a little scary.

3. What strength or skill do you have that will be most valuable to you as you parent?

I'm a really good listener. I was the outlet of choice for many of my friends and their problems in high school and college (also, weirdly enough, my mom who used to tell me that I sounded like her therapist--I believe she meant this as a compliment). I've gotten away from that a little bit in the grown-up years, but I think those skills will just come rushing back when needed.

(now, back to my own questions)

4. As a swinging single gal, how do you plan to deal with the whole dating thing once you're a parent?

I kind of figured I would just give up on dating while I was parenting. I found the stress of dealing with stepparents to be pretty annoying, and I was an adult when my parents got divorced and started dating. I also figured that a kid out of the foster system could use my full attention and the kind of stability that not dating would bring. And, to be honest, the prospects out there just don't look too good to me. Temptation in the form of a very cute art professor e-mailing me through myspace has recently reared its ugly head and made me think about priorities and dating and what I'm willing to/have to give up. I think this will be an ongoing issue. And I really don't want it to be. It would be so much nicer if I could just turn off that part of my brain for a while.

5. Why can't college students recognize that Democrat and Republican, when in reference to the parties, are proper nouns? Or that 4+ pages probably won't cut it when the professor asks for 7-8?

Oh god, I wish I knew. . .